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Simon is a monster. No, not the metaphorical kind. He eats people. While he is careful not to give specifics, if you should figure out where he is, please do not leave organs on his doorstep (you know who you are) as this could lead to unfortunate problems. Though the gesture would be appreciated (and delicious).

Simon does not live in a cave. His favorite film is a tie between American Psycho and The Sound of Music. He does not have a favorite song. He does not have a favorite book, though he prefers to read cookbooks or true crime. Simon likes to garden, clean, eat, and hunt, though his hobbies are many and varied. He collects antiques, eats, and works in a restaurant.


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