After the Willamette Writers Conference and the PNWA Writers Conference the weekend before, I spent a few days theoretically resting and catching up with some good friends at their home in the Pacific Northwest. That led to an exchange that led to this tweet:
“I’m writing a book.” – my friend’s 7 year old son #itneverends
And then this one:
“Of course I’m going to get all my books made into movies. Gosh.” – my friend’s 7 year old son
This was all in good fun, of course, but the familiarity of his comments was striking. These are statements that regularly come my way during pitch sessions, in query letters, while browsing at Powell’s, while buying insurance, etc. The conversation continued as the boy enthusiastically reached out to his mother and his seven-year-old sister. For a few laughs and maybe to learn a little, let’s dive in and analyze.
“Mom, could you put my stories into a hardcover book so it could get in stores and people will like them and I’ll get famous?”
The kid has spunk. I can’t make this up. Since you’re already reading an agent blog, I’m likely preaching to the choir, but there are no guarantees in this business. Not every book gets a hardcover release (that’s a decision made by the publisher and most often a good thing). Not every book published gets into stores, regardless of whether it’s published traditionally or by the author (or the author’s mom, in this case). A good portion of the books stocked get returned to the publisher unsold, often because the audience doesn’t anticipate liking them or they simply don’t know the books exist. That’s one reason why you should never become complacent with your promotion, no matter how much you have accomplished as an author. And regarding fame, if you’re lucky enough to achieve it, it most often comes as a result of hard work performed before and after the release of the book.
“Here, read this. Do you think it’s funny? Are you thinking of how funny it is?”
This took about 5 seconds, start to finish. It’s a great reminder to have patience. Kids don’t, and that’s pretty much what you sign up for when you’re around them. Agents and publishers get a lot of submissions, and it takes time for them to get to your query, let alone read your manuscript or proposal. That’s just what you sign up for when you submit. Adhere to their listed response time, which is often weeks or even months long. And if you get impatient waiting for a response and decide to self-publish, well, that’s just foolish. There are plenty of excellent reasons to self-publish. That isn’t one of them.
“I don’t need to practice, Mom. I’m already good at it. I’ve been writing books for two years.”
Everyone needs to practice, even famous writers. And in the grand scheme of things, two years is not that long. Sometimes it takes two years just for your book to come out.
“It’s as good as it should be. I’m not going to redo this. It already looks good.”
Always be willing to revise. If you get an agent and refuse to make the changes they suggest, they’ll likely drop you without pitching your project. If you get a publishing deal and refuse to make the changes they suggest, they’ll likely cancel the book and take back your advance. You can (and should) make the editorial process a dialogue, but make it a civil one and realize that an impartial expert is telling you how to make your manuscript more likely to achieve success in its market.
“By the way, this is totally being my job when I grow up.”
Grammar aside, he kind of got this right. Being an author is a full-time job, and anyone can do it. But even if you’re a bestseller, you’ll most likely need another source of income. Some write ad copy or safety manuals. Some work in restaurants or hospitals. Cash flow in the publishing industry tends to be slow and segmented. You need something to maintain. Whenever an aspiring author mentions in their query or pitch that they just quit their job at the law firm to focus on their writing, it takes every ounce of restraint not to tell them to go back. Let’s pick up the conversation a little later:
“I’m going to go to college and learn and become a lot of things.”
Good boy. He didn’t even need my encouragement.
Boy: “Is your book for kids?”
Girl: “Yeah, it’s for toddlers.”
Boy: “Mine is going to be for adults and kids. It’s going to be for everyone.”
Girl: “Mine is too.”
This brings up two excellent points. First, a book for everyone is a book for no one. It’s as simple as that. Second, know what you’re best fit to write, and write it with conviction. I get a lot of submissions from people trying to chase trends, and they not only tend to be way too late to ride that wave, but they also tend to carry the inadequacies typical of rushed and insincere work.
Boy: “My books are going to be in stores. They’re working on that.”
Girl: “How?”
Boy: “Because you have to practice and practice. You have to keep practicing until all the words are spelled right. Then you take it to the book place, and they see if it’s good, and if it’s good, they’ll put it in the store.”
Ignore that he just contradicted himself again (that’s also what you sign up for when talking with kids). He came up with this with no input from me, which again is rather impressive. It’s important to educate yourself on the business. You don’t have to know all of the ins and outs and what have yous, but it behooves you to at least have an idea of how things should be. You’ll not only keep yourself from getting screwed by the less than legitimate “shmagents” and “shmublishers” that don’t have the knowledge or desire to properly handle your work, but you’ll maintain peace of mind once your work is in the hands of a proper agent and publisher. Again, it’s a process to get your work published well. And I assure you, it’s better to not get published than to get published poorly. You don’t want your life’s ambition looking like it was put together by seven-year-olds.
One final gem:
“You have time. I do a little every day.”
Wisdom from the mouths of babes.
